Introductory Paragraph With Analysis

By Janae Leach

Analysis:

Both of the authors sustain their personality throughout the entirety of their work. In the wooden spoon essay, the author speaks with a personable tone. It is like they are conversing with a friend rather than using stiff, scientific language to describe their technology. It makes reading the essay easier and relatable, especially when the relate using the wooden spoon to their own life. The author of the egg article speaks directly to their audience. They use an easy-going tone with light humor. It keeps the reader engaged and willing to read more on the subject. With the incorporation of the authors’ personalities, the essays are certainly more enjoyable to read compared to essays that do not.

Introductory Paragraph:

MRI, or Magnetic Resonance Imaging, machines are used around the world and of great importance in medicine for diagnosing all kinds of diseases and illnesses. From circulatory problems to cancer, MRIs provide physicians with eyes to peer inside the human body without using invasive procedures such as surgery. Except most patients who have access to these MRI machines are first-world patients. Third-world citizens are left with minimal healthcare and the grueling job of retrieving the raw materials required to assemble the MRI machine. This raises the question of whether or not MRIs are really worth the effort if not everyone can share equally in its various benefits. The MRI is too integrated in the medical culture for it to be completely removed from the system. Without it, medicine would be taking decades worth of steps backwards in patient care. The MRI is an integral part of modern medicine and it is so widely used that it is essential to maintain manufacturing.

Revised Introductory Paragraph:

Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) machines are used all around the world in medicine for diagnosing numerous types of diseases and illnesses. From circulatory problems to cancer, MRIs provide physicians with eyes to peer inside the human body without using invasive and expensive procedures. However, most patients who have access to these MRI machines are first-world patients. Third-world citizens are left with minimal healthcare and the grueling job of retrieving the raw materials required to assemble the MRI machine. This raises the question of whether MRIs are really worth the effort if not everyone can share equally in its various benefits. The MRI is too deeply integrated in the medical culture for it to be completely removed from the system. Without it, medicine would be taking decades worth of steps backwards in patient care. The MRI is an integral part of modern medicine. It is so widely used and relied on that it is absolutely essential to maintain its manufacturing.

 

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