Tone Analysis and Intro Revisions

Riley Kopp

The tone of the two articles is very similar. Both articles seem to take a rather scornful tone whenever they talk about how our society has progressed. The first article takes a rather distasteful and judgemental tone, saying that “We Americans, along with the Japanese, Australians and Scandinavians, tend to be squeamish about our chicken eggs, so we bathe them and then have to refrigerate them. But we are oddballs…” This leads us (most of us reading this are Americans) to think that according to the author of this article, we are doing something wrong when we buy our eggs. This mirrors a feeling that the tone of the other article creates when the author says: “Traditional histories do not pay much attention to food. They tend to focus on hefty industrial and military developments…” The second article does not give as strong of a distasteful tone off, instead, as the example begins to show, the author creates more of a questioning tone. Asking more of a ‘why don’t people pay attention to the food we eat?’

The two articles, however, show very different ideas between technology and culture. The egg article presents enough information for the reader to begin to come to the conclusion that Americans are using technology to create new cultural preferences. Such as the white eggs over brown eggs and Americans being scared of room temperature eggs. The food paper on the other hand shows that technology has changed the way we eat and how we prepare food and that different people have different reactions towards the way food is prepared.

Old introduction:

<Hook> It is an undeniable fact that knowing where we are going and how to get there is rather necessary for a productive society. Without a method of navigation humankind would have never been able to cross the vast oceans that separate the continents. Early navigation dates back to the beginning of  humankind in which we can assume that people would orient themselves based off of a landmark such as a mountain or a large tree. Stars were then used to determine location with the help of multiple tools and data tables that were later combined into the navigational sextant in the 16th century. Later with the advent of the navigational compass in the 11th century and the sextant sailors were able to travel across the oceans and wide seas. This was a huge breakthrough since before the creation of the compass and sextant, it was nearly impossible to sail unless the boat followed traced the coastline. This method of navigation has existed up until the 1980ies where the global positioning system replaced the sextant and would allow the entire population to know their exact position on the earth. This prompted a huge boom in the technology industry. Now the global positioning system, GPS, is integrated into every cell phone, smart watch, automobile, and navigational system. The global positioning system has improved our lives in countless ways beyond the navigational impacts, but GPS has also aided in the proliferation of evil in our society.

Revised introduction:

The big red YOU ARE HERE dot on any map is the arguably the most helpful part of the whole map (minus of course the map itself). It allows us to orient ourselves with the environment and gives us a heading as which to follow to our destination. (not much better than the <hook> but hey it’s a start) This leads to the undeniable fact that knowing where we are and how to get where we want to go is rather necessary for a productive society. Without a method of navigation humankind would have never been able to cross the vast oceans that separate the continents. Early navigation dates back to the beginning of  humankind in which we can assume that people would orient themselves based off of a landmark such as a mountain or a large tree. Eventually stars were used to determine location with the help of multiple tools and data tables that were later combined into the navigational sextant in the 16th century. Later with the advent of the navigational compass in the 11th century and the sextant, sailors were able to travel across the oceans and wide seas. This was a huge breakthrough since before the creation of the compass and sextant, it was nearly impossible to sail unless the boat followed traced the coastline. This method of navigation has existed up until the 1980ies where the global positioning system replaced the sextant and would allow the entire population to know their exact position on the earth. This prompted a huge boom in the technology industry. Now the global positioning system, GPS, is integrated into every cell phone, smart watch, automobile, and navigational system. The global positioning system has improved our lives in countless ways beyond the navigational impacts, but GPS has also aided in the exploitation of power in our society.

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