Tone Reflection and Intro Paragraph

Essay Response-

In the essay “Introduction” (the wooden spoon one), the personality is immediately added to the work in the start of the essay by applying personification to the wooden spoon being discussed. This is accomplished by describing it with words like “trusty” and “lovable”. While in the realm of normal conversation one could reasonably describe a tool as “trusty” (as a form of trustworthy, or reliable), but “lovable” would only be used to get a response from the reader since the spoon itself can not have the qualities of something “lovable”. In the second essay, “Why The U.S. Chills Its Eggs And Most Of The World Doesn’t”, personality is added into the essay by speaking directly to the reader in a familiar way. Utilizing possible questions a reader may have as an initial response as material in a rhetorical way sounds more like a friend making fun of you rather than a opening passage in an essay.

Introduction Paragraph-

Our 21st century world relies completely on electronics. In the years since the phaseout of the vacuum tube; everything from car motors, to aircraft, to spacecraft, to phones, to clocks and more have been moved away from mechanical linkages and complicated physical mechanisms to control by electronic devices. This is helpful in many ways. Whether it is called “fly by wire” (for example: electric throttle control in new cars) instead of a physical pulley, or miniaturization in a radio, things that 50 years ago people had to create, carry, and use separately are now, literally, in most of our pockets.

Revised Paragraph-

Our digital age world relies completely on modern electronic technology. In the years since the phaseout of the vacuum tube; everything from car motors, to aircraft, to spacecraft, to phones, to clocks and more have been moved away from mechanical linkages and complicated physical mechanisms to control by electronic devices. This is helpful in many ways. Whether it is called “fly by wire” instead of a physical pulley in a car throttle, or miniaturization in a radio so that it can be used from a phone, things that 50 years ago people had to create, carry, and use separately are now in most of our pockets for very cheap. This is because of the transistor. In 1949 it was invented by Bell Labs to replace the fragile and unreliable vacuum tube in postwar military radios. In the years since, the transistor changed from a physical pea sized box with prongs glued to a circuit board, to microscopic machines where more than two billion of them can be contained in each 89mm^2 A8 chip in the Apple iPhone 6 (Anthony).

 

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