Sentence Revisions 12/5

Tabitha Farthing

With the advent of recorded sound and the technologies through which it is projected, it remained accessible to all available ears.

Correction: With the advent of recorded sound and the corresponding projection technologies, sound remained accessible to all available ears.

Kenney argues that this perspective ignores the many ways in which recorded music brought people together by asserting, “To emphasize solitary receptivity denies the phonograph’s power to stimulate…new musical cultures” (3).

Correction: Kenney contradicts Eisenberg’s perspective by drawing attention to the many ways in which recorded music brought people together by asserting, “To emphasize solitary receptivity denies the phonograph’s power to stimulate…new musical cultures” (3).

Headphones allow sound to take shape within the mind and transform an individual’s mentality, a function which highlights the privatization of sound as a result of the technology.

Correction: Headphones allow sound to take shape within the mind and transform an individual’s mental state, privatizing sound as a result.

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