Sentence Revisions 12/5

By Janae Leach

Originals

  1. The MRI is an integral part of modern medicine and it is so widely used that it is essential to maintain manufacturing.
  2. A resistive magnet is made up of thin aluminum bands wrapped in a loop.
  3. When electricity is conducted around the loop a magnetic field is created perpendicular to the loop.
  4. The MRI is such a huge component of modern medicine and technology.
  5. The article also includes some videos and images that show how an MRI works and what getting an MRI is like.

Revisions

  1. As an integral part of modern medicine and globally used instrument, it is essential to maintain manufacturing.
  2. A resistive magnet consists of thin aluminum bands wrapped in a loop.
  3. When electricity conducts around the loop, a magnetic field forms perpendicular to the loop.
  4. The MRI holds such a high standing in modern medicine and technology.
  5. The article also includes some videos and images that show how an MRI works and the experience of getting one.

*My paper contained no sentences that had the words ‘says’ or ‘states’

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