Sentence Revisions

Eliminating it:

Original

Eweje feels that it is the company’s responsibility to educate employees about the risks associated with the job, and protect the employees from these risks.

Revision

Eweje feels the company is responsible for educating employees about the risks associated with the job, and protect the employees from these risks.

Original

When we look at the Congo however, it is clear the working children are unable to attend school if they are working incredibly long hours in the mines where there is no access to education.

Revision

When we look at the Congo however, working children are clearly unable to attend school if they are working incredibly long hours in the mines where there is no access to education.

Eliminating is

Original

The term “basic human rights” is one that we often hear on TV shows and political campaign speeches, but I suspect most people do not have any idea what this means, or what the rights are.

Revision

We often hear the term “basic human rights” on TV shows and political campaign speeches, but I suspect most people do not have any idea what this means, or what the rights are.

Eliminating this

Original

We often hear the term “basic human rights” on TV shows and political campaign speeches, but I suspect most people do not have any idea what this means, or what the rights are.

Revision

We often hear the term “basic human rights” on TV shows and political campaign speeches, but I suspect most people do not have any idea what the term means, or what the rights are.

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