Sentence Revisions

Is, it, this, that

  • Original: This is the only way to preserve the functionality of the medical technology that so much relies on.
    • Edited: Only through the improvement of our current antibiotics can we hope to preserve their role as the world’s most important medical technology.
  • Original: The origin of a steel needle may not seem important, as it is such a tiny and insignificant piece of equipment.
    • Edited: The syringe is often overlooked due to the focus placed on the contents of the device rather than the syringe itself.
  • Original: The best defense against this disease was the collection and burning of bodies, to ensure the disease would spread as little as possible.
    • Edited: The best defense against the devastation incurred by the Black Death was the collection and burning of bodies, to ensure the disease would spread as little as possible.
  • Original: Providing the product to the public at a cheap price despite manufacturing costs means that costs are cut somewhere, and many times it is with cheap labor.
    • Edited: The size and price of an operation to provide massive amounts product to consumers is often offset by turning to cheap labor.

-tion, -ism, -ity, -ize

  • Original: It is a common assumption that slave labor no longer has a place in modern society.
    • Edited: The death of slavery in much of the modern world has led to the belief of slave labor no longer existing.
  • Original: 44 years after the discovery and implementation of antibiotics into our society.
    • Edited: 44 years after antibiotics had established itself as the ultimate drug in our society.

States, Says

  • None present in my current draft.

-Connor Hill

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