Sentence Revisions

Nominalizations:

Original: Due to the dangers of contamination from shared needles, hypodermic syringes may only be used once.

New: Due to the potential danger that a used needle may be contaminated with disease, hypodermic syringes may only be used once.

Is:

Original: Despite that nagging fear felt by many before receiving a shot, people should be thankful to live in an age when such technology is available.

New: Despite that nagging fear felt by many before receiving a shot, people should be thankful to live in an age when such technology can be accessed.

This and That:

Original: This would become essential for drugs such as insulin, which cannot be absorbed through the stomach and therefore must be directly injected into the blood stream.

New: The development of the needle was essential for the emergence of drugs such as insulin,  which cannot be absorbed through the stomach and therefore must be directly injected into the blood stream.

Original: One can imagine the absolute horror that a contemporary patient would experience if a doctor were to suggest a similar procedure.

New: One can imagine the absolute horror a contemporary patient would experience if a doctor were to suggest a similar procedure.

 

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