Sentence Revisions

Words ending in “tion”, “ity”, and “ism”

  • With the introduction of cars, the resources needed increased.
    • After cars had been introduced, the resources needed to keep them running increased.
  • Once the camshaft is in motion, it then pushes on the lifters, which then pushes on the rockers.
    • Once the camshaft begins moving, the lifters are then pushed which, in turn, pushes on the rockers.

Sentences with “is” and “it”

  • In case the vehicle does get stuck, it is always a good idea to have someone along to help get it unstuck.
    • In case the vehicle does get stuck, you should always have someone along to help get the vehicle unstuck.
  • Before the process begins, a pipe is put two miles down into the ground, which then gradually curves until it is horizontal.
    • Before the process begins, workers drive a pipe two miles down into the ground, which then gradually curves until the pipe becomes horizontal.

Sentences with “this” and “that”

  • All engines have pieces that keep them running, but there are also parts that are important in order to keep them cool and permits an engine to run for long periods of time.
    • All engines have pieces to keep them running, but there are also parts which are important in keeping engines cool and able to run for long periods of time.
  • This wears it out faster, and caused unneeded damage.
    • Revving the engine wears the parts out faster and causes unneeded damage.

Signal Phrases

  • 127 years of Modern Automobile Evolution states, “The year 1886 was regarded as the year of birth of the modern automobile.”
    • Cars were invented late in the 19th century, and as 127 years of Modern Automobile Evolution states, “The year 1886 was regarded as the year of birth of the modern automobile.”
  • For example, the wrist pin is a “hollow metal tube that connects the connecting rod to the piston” (Amundson).
    • An easier way to think of the function for example, would be to picture the wrist pin as a “hollow metal tube that connects the connecting rod to the piston” (Amundson).

States, Says

  • These words are not included in my paper.
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